Why Are You Touching Baby’s Butts?

I often hear people say: “My skin feels like a baby’s butt.”

Let’s begin. You’re ten years old, you shouldn’t be paying so much attention to your appearance! Go run into a wall or jump off the roof - heck, that’s what i was doing at your age.

Secondly, how do you know what a baby’s butt feels like? Why do you go around touching/ feeling baby’s butts?! You’re too young to be changing nappies so where do you get these babies to touch their butts? And more importantly, why do these people let you touch their baby’s butts?

And no! I do not want to feel your baby butt skin, I’ve got my own.

What’s more funnier:
An atheist yelling out “JESUS CHRIST” in desperate need
or
a Muslim yelling out “OH MY GOD, JESUS CHRIST!” ?

What’s more funnier:

An atheist yelling out “JESUS CHRIST” in desperate need

or

a Muslim yelling out “OH MY GOD, JESUS CHRIST!” ?

Last time I was on stage I ‘sang’ Bob Marleys song ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’. I wore my blue hawaiian shirt and Michael Jackson hat, damn I would’ve been hot if I was a guy… Anyway, I was moon-walking my way across the stage, winking at my (female) teachers, I think we all questioned my sexuality at this point. Moving up and down the crowd praying that I wouldn’t get tangled in the microphone chord, I hopped back on stage when the base of my microphone dropped smack down on the wooden floor. With the music still playing I picked up the wire and attempted to sing into it, who knows it might have worked, waving it around I thought ‘Fuck!’ but still sang ‘Don’t worry, be happy!’ into a chordless microphone.
That night I managed to make everyone in that hall cry with laughter. Went back to sit on the bench and thought ‘Fuck yeah.’ Biggest crowd yet.

Last time I was on stage I ‘sang’ Bob Marleys song ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’. I wore my blue hawaiian shirt and Michael Jackson hat, damn I would’ve been hot if I was a guy… Anyway, I was moon-walking my way across the stage, winking at my (female) teachers, I think we all questioned my sexuality at this point. Moving up and down the crowd praying that I wouldn’t get tangled in the microphone chord, I hopped back on stage when the base of my microphone dropped smack down on the wooden floor. With the music still playing I picked up the wire and attempted to sing into it, who knows it might have worked, waving it around I thought ‘Fuck!’ but still sang ‘Don’t worry, be happy!’ into a chordless microphone.

That night I managed to make everyone in that hall cry with laughter. Went back to sit on the bench and thought ‘Fuck yeah.’ Biggest crowd yet.

tanyanny:

Comedy show 
Nick (Something), TJ Miller and Reggie Watts

Nick Vatterott … soo lucky! I want to see TJ!! 

tanyanny:

Comedy show 

Nick (Something), TJ Miller and Reggie Watts

Nick Vatterott … soo lucky! I want to see TJ!! 

asker

tumblrbot asked: WHAT IS YOUR EARLIEST HUMAN MEMORY?

Fearing I’ll fall down the hole where I do my pee-pee. #ShitWasLoudToo

Let me start this off by saying I am a huge fan on comedy. Number one comedian? Michael McIntyre of course. Pure legend he is, constantly provoking a heart attack with laughter. I’ve read his book within a day and cannot wait to see him at the end of the year!
Second most amazing comedian? T.J. Miller. T.J. has to be the most funniest, nicest guy out there.I am literally one of his top fans! We message each other on twitter and facebook, he sent me signed pictures of him and I also run his twitter fan base.
That’s why every time I see this (the picture above) on facebook I get more eager to push it but he’ll probably end up throwing marshmallows at me instead. 
One day I will push it and one day we will meet. Constantly promising to travel to each other’s country, we still haven’t met.

Let me start this off by saying I am a huge fan on comedy. Number one comedian? Michael McIntyre of course. Pure legend he is, constantly provoking a heart attack with laughter. I’ve read his book within a day and cannot wait to see him at the end of the year!

Second most amazing comedian? T.J. Miller. T.J. has to be the most funniest, nicest guy out there.I am literally one of his top fans! We message each other on twitter and facebook, he sent me signed pictures of him and I also run his twitter fan base.

That’s why every time I see this (the picture above) on facebook I get more eager to push it but he’ll probably end up throwing marshmallows at me instead. 

One day I will push it and one day we will meet. Constantly promising to travel to each other’s country, we still haven’t met.